Sunday, August 16, 2009

Funny puke stories

TL Feb. 18th, 1984

My 21st birthday. I don't recall much about that night except that it was at Phil’s apartment on river road. He had a set of couches arranged around the TV, and there was only one way in and out from them. I had been drinking beer from a giant glass, I think someone said it was a brandy snifter and it held 2 1/2 cans of beer. Oh, wait, it was the 17th... I know because I made a beer run and bought beer legally for the first time in Illinois at 12:01!
Anyways, I'm slugging down huge gulps out of this thing, feeling really good. I must have been on my fourth one when suddenly, I didn't feel too good, heh. I got up from the couch, which wasn't easy, and headed for the only way out of the living room pit set up. I had my hand over my mouth as I felt the 8 something beers worth coming back up on me and was heading to the bathroom as fast as I could, only to be blocked by Phil. He had his hand out to stop me, saying, "Oh no, you've got to keep on drinking", to which I replied simply by using my left hand to push him out of my way, as my right hand was trying to hold it all back. I could feel puke coming through my fingers and I saw his eyes go wide as he realized what was going on! Luckily, I made it to the toilet in time... whew.

TL must have been in 1984

While on the idea of puking, ( I don't know why I find this so funny... puking. Most guys do... lol) there was this party. I was seeing this girl, Kriss (I've been with a few Chrisses... heh) and her parents let us use the basement as almost are own apartment. It was a nice basement, all finished out with a big TV, a fridge, 2 huge fish tanks and a bathroom. Kriss invited a bunch of her friends over, most of which I didn't know, but her parents where cool with us having the party as long as we didn't go upstairs and bother them. I started out drinking Carlsberg elephant beer... wow, strong stuff! At some point, I had to use the bathroom, but I found 2 girls and a guy in there. The girls where comforting the guy who had his head in the toilet, but he wasn't puking. I said, "Hey, um... when ya gonna be done in there, I need to use it." One of the girls looked up at me and said, "He dropped some acid and he's having a bad trip." Well... I really had to go, and I couldn't go upstairs, and so I was like "Is it really that bad, come on now". I could see the guy look up sideways a bit at me, then look back down quickly. The girls where all huffy about it, and that ticked me off a bit, so I reached over to the toilet... and flushed it! I almost feel sorry for the kid... all of the sudden his whole world began to swirl in front of his eyes... he freaked out, and ran from the room, straight up the stairs with one of the girls following him. The other girl got mad at me as I gently brushed her aside, closing the door on her as she said some nasty whatever’s... lol.

TL 1979ish

I'm going to not reveal this girls name as it is a bit embarrassing for her I bet, but I do remember her very well. She had been helping her mom make cherry pies by pitting the cherries for her, and eating allot of them along the way. I came over to take her out for Ice cream at a place in Woodfield. There, she ate this huge Sunday, I mean, she wasn't a big girl... I couldn't believe she ate it all! We had a good time, and I knew we where going to end up somewhere to do what teens do. So, I'm driving the GEX down Woodfield drive to Higgins where I'd have to make a left hand turn. The light turned red just as we got there, and she said she wasn't feeling too good. The traffic was heavy... I didn't know what to do about it. Then, the light for the cross traffic turned red, and many backed up behind it to our left. I started to drive as she began to puke out the right window... all the way through the intersection. I glanced over to see if she was ok, when I noticed all the cars... the people had a front row seat to see this cute lil girl hoarking ice cream and cherries into the road in front of them... dam, but I had a hard time not laughing! Needless to say... I didn't get lucky that day.


TL... not sure... trailer park days.

Phil started dating a girl form the Oasis Trailer park, and we had a few adventures there. It seemed like every weekend there was an ambulance or police cars doing something there back then. There was one girl that was a knock out! Blonde, built and always had a nice smile, though she never showed me any signs... dam. That is... till the day she had a birthday party. These kids could party! They always seemed to have good connections for drugs. Being that she was beautiful and popular, everyone was giving her stuff... drug wise I mean. On my way to the john, I saw her brothers bedroom, where the music for the party was coming from. It was loud, and he had a strobe light on in there. I was like, "COOL!" and went in, looking at his posters on the wall. No one else was there, so I kicked back on the edge of the bed, may back against the wall and my right foot on the ground. Then, in the doorway, a vision appeared... it was her, silhouetted in the light, her hand up on the doorway edge, looking at me. I'd only see her in flashes, it was kind of surreal. She walked in towards me, a grin on her face, stopping next to me and looking right into my eyes... it was like a dream come true. I kept thinking, no way, this is too good... then she reached out and put her hand on my leg and knelt down next to me, still smiling and looking fantastic! Dam... here we go I'm thinking, and sure enough, she tilts her head towards me, leaning in, she starts looking down... I'm getting excited as hell! Then... her back goes up, her head jerks down and I realize she is going to puke big time on my shoe! I yank my foot up just in time as this gusher comes out of her, splattering all over the floor! Man! Talk about a buzz kill! With the strobe light, it all seemed to happen in slow motion too. The last thing I remember was seeing all the pills in the puddle as I called out for help, the she had puked in here.
No, wait... I do recall the next day, waking up in a water bed... that had leaked all it's water out some time in the night. UGH... I was laying across the cross members of the bed with a terrible hang over. I couldn't straighten out for ever it seemed.

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